Pad Thai

Everyone likes Pad Thai. I cook it all the time. I'm going to tell you how so you can do it at home.

get some Pad Thai noodles. They're not the same as glass noodles or thin rice vermnicelli or glass noodles. They're made from sticky rice. Bangkok Center Grocery on Mosco street in Chinatown should have them. So get some pad thai noodles first.

Then get yourself a wok and in said wok put a glob of oyster sauce, a spoonful of powdered chicken stock, two spoonfuls of sugar, about an inch and a half of water, a blob of oil, and a healthy glob of some tomato product. Any will work, like canned tomatoes or tomato paste, but I like to use about two fresh small minced tomatoes. The tomatoes all the source of that mysterious brownish orange color. Bring all this crap to a boil to get it mixed up and the tomatoes cooked down a little, then add whatever meat you're using, beef, chicken, pork, whatever. Cook the meat mostly but not totally. Then throw in a buinch of noodles. If they're fresh, throw them in straight. If they're dried, partially preboil them. Cook the noodles about two minutes, cutting them with your spatula as you go. Then throw in whatever vegetables, seafood or egg you're using. Suggested vegetables are baby corn, carrot, chinese cabbage, all sliced thinly. They cook fast. Do not overcook. Plate it up, and then sprinkle crushed peanut, minced scallion, lime juice and minced cilantro. You're done. It's really fast. It's really good.

I remember back in Milhous, my dirty but lovable hippie co-op back in the day, various folks trying to figure out hopw to make pad thai. Peoplke were always throwing peanut butter in there. All wrong. We were so wrong and ended up with a gelatinous brown mass that would cork up the New York City sewer system. Yikes. Hey. We were young. We were in love. We had no idea what we were doing.