Career

Hm. Seeing a way out makes the walls seem more confining. Up until now, I've never been able to imagine a clear route to doing anything other than the movie biz; it's all I'm skilled at. The thought of jumping ship and starting over completely in another field has always felt abhorrent, so I put a brave face on it and enjoyed the good parts of this career. I've always enjoyed the freedom of being freelance, I love the constant stream of new people, I like periodic travel jobs, I like the occasional rigging problems that I have to solve. But. Overall, much of what I do in the lighting end of the movie and tv business is not challenging, is not interesting, is not socially redeeming, is not all that great. Yesterday an infomercial, today an interview with a goole exec, Friday reality tv, next week the Playboy channel. This is why I bailed out in 2006 and went traveling. The earnings called me back. Keep in mind, it's not as though I'm getting rich. Decent, comfortable, middle class money, but I'm not getting rich.

The source of the sudden new career anxiety is this: I'm in discussion with my mother in law about joining her company and eventually taking it over. She wants to retire, and pass her company to one of her children, or the next best thing. She runs three centers for speech, language, and occupational therapy in California.

It's a little later now, I decided not to do it. Why switch from one thing I'm only halfway interested in to something else I'm only halfway interested, but years back in experience? Would that really be better? I might get restless there too. I toured the operation for a week. It's all female employees and a lot of people with speech problems. Not convinced that' the right environment for me.