Arm

I'm laid up. Shoulder surgery. Voluntary? I guess so. Not really, when they say, "it's fine now but in three years it'll be complete shit and you won't be able to lift your arm." In so many words. So I'm recovering. Torn Labrum, Superior Labrum anterior- posterior, full tear of rotator cuff, sub-acromial spurring, bursal impingement and tendinitis. Got it all fixed up. PT now, an hour twice a day, still can't lift my right hand as high as my shoulder.

So one of the good things about this enforced long-term downtime is that I've been catching up on my favorite hobbies, and learning a little something: I'm happiest when I'm working with my hands. It's a shame, no one pays anyone o be a craftsman anymore, bu yes, I like Doing. That's how I got into the whole Art world that i later abandoned: I liked drawing when I was a kid, and therefore I ended up studying ARt, which got all complicated, and it has to be so deep, and it means something about society or culture or politics... Wait, find me the 20 year old who has something really insightful to say about the world. Please, do. Ergo: disillusionment. Career in film. But now, I delve deep into my "craft" (not Art) projects, and i love them, and it doesn't matter if they say anything to anyone about anything. I'm just doing them. All week I'veebeen buzzing along on making two space angel helmets for costumes for Alex and me, obviously for burning man, but for whatever costume party in between or after. I've discovered LEDs and soldering. Combining what I know from work with my crafty interests. Put pink LEDs in Alex' helmet so they rake her cheekbones in a flattering way.

A tired dog is a happy dog.

Tom

Reality

I do much of my work in reality television. I have very mixed feelings about this. I pretty much hate the product, by and large. I think I've worked on two shows that I might enjoy watching. "Can't Get a Date" certainly, and possibly, "The Apprentice". I make at least half of my income in reality television. It's hard to walk away from that. And they're never my shows. I never have my heart in the product, I just light them, so I don't feel like I'm selling myself out completely.

But is this what I'm capable of? Lighting silly, vapid, shallow reality TV?

The thing about it is how little reality there is to it. The actors are real people, who aren't reading scripted lines, but all of reality is heavily, "produced". In court, they would call that leading the witness. Write a plausible story for the selected cast members, and induce them to act it out and talk about it. The only thing unscripted is the dialogue.

I met a guy today at the restaurant where we were shooting who went on a rant about how stupid the contestants sounded. He told me that a lawyer friend of his was preparing a class-action suit against some of the networks for making America into a stupider place.

It's us. We're the ones buying it. Watching the shows, giving them the ratings response that keeps on churning them out, keeping me gainfully employed, paying for my books and my New Yorker subscription and all the other things that make me feel superior to the Reality-watching masses.

How is watching silly girls talk about boys, clothes, and nightclubs that compelling to listen to? It just boggles the mind.

But I enjoy my craft. I like trying to make things look nice, in a way that accomodates multiple camera angles and still works. I like my income. I like lots of the people I work with.

Sigh.